I believe a daughter's relationship with her father has a great affect on her relationships with other men.
A little background information...
If you don't already know, I recently moved back to Virginia after being away for three years. My Dad really wanted me to live with him for a while, which is one of the reasons God wanted me to come back at the time that I did. My relationship with my father has made a drastic change in the past year. You see he was always in my life, but I finally understood more about him during this past year. I have not lived with my father in over 20 years. My parents split up when I was about 8 and I always lived with my Mom. When I was 17 I spent two weeks in Germany with my Dad. For the first time I was "living" with him and that trip alone made a huge impact on our relationship. Now I am really living with him and learning a lot.
Living with the opposite of messy...
My Dad has always been extremely neat and organized and so this is of course where I picked up my "perfectionism" attitude at an early age. However my mom is more relaxed and well that is where I picked up my "procrastination" attitude. And so as I'm living here "temporarily" I am having to battle with my messy self in the oppostite of messy. So after two years of living with my ex as he tried to turn me into "little miss housekeeper", I spent the past year living with the most awesome roommate who shared the same clean, messy, procrastinating lifestyle as myself. I have to admit, I got completely spoiled. Now I am back to faking it.
If I can't be a bit messy, I'm just not really being me.
1. No shoes in the house.
This policy I actually tried to enforce when I was living with my ex. However, we always had those times we would forget and walk back in the house with shoes on. And this is why you just invest in a carpet cleaner. It's just not a big deal. Here it is a cardinal sin to wear shoes in the house. I caught on really quick.
2. We have a dishwasher. We don't use it.
First of all, I'm the kind of girl that rinses food off the dish and leaves it in the sink or puts it in the dishwasher. The dishes pile up, but what is really the big deal? I had even made a deal with my ex once. I clean the bathrooms, you can clean the kitchen. However I still got yelled at a lot about my dishes in the sink. But really, what is the problem? I think it works out better if I just clean all the dishes at once while jamming out to music on my Ipod. Also those dishes in the dishwasher that are clean stay there for a while. Looking for a glass or dish to use? Just check the dishwasher. What if I'm unsure about the dishes being clean already that are in the dishwasher? Just start it over again and wash them twice. Currently I'm learning the habit of washing each individual dish as I use it and placing it back where it belongs. It just feels so wrong.
3. Laundry is a big problem.
I'll never forget when I was 15 and my Mom shrunk one of my favorite shirts in the dryer. It swear it would have fit my Barbie. That was the day I never let anybody touch my laundry again. But like anything else in the world, I forget about laundry. I might throw a load in the wash and remember it hours later. I could literally have laundry in the dryer for up to a week. Let's not mention the countless times I frantically throw a few articles of clothing in the dryer just to get the wrinkles out before I go somewhere. Well all of the above, is definitely not allowed here. I'm having a hard time.
4. Random messes.
In any living situation, you should be able to find traces of me around the house. Articles of clothing in the washing machine, random items scattered around the kitchen, magazines, fingernail polish, keys, and more random personal item scattered across the house on coffee tables or counters. If you walked into this house, you wouldn't find anything until coming into my room. I have to pick up after myself everywhere. I can't even leave keys on a table without getting a knock on the door asking if they are mine.
I love my Dad so much. He's like the coolest man I know. I have learned so much from him my whole life. I won't ever date a guy that doesn't share a majority of his values and qualities. I have to wonder if my time here is somehow preparing me for that man that I will be with my whole life. The best part is that no matter what I do, my Dad is always so nice and understanding. He knows I'm having to change a lot and appreciates that. His reminders are never nagging or judgmental, and I totally want to please his requests to "clean my mess"
I just have to wonder Am I in "wifey" training mode or what?
Peace and Hearts